I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize