I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
