i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize