i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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