The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
