Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You pole danced in your parka.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
