I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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