your thong is hanging out like whoa
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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