Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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