Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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