Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
nutella sex= disaster
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
