I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
