who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Someone shit on the floor
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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