I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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