That's intense
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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