I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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