I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
