420 ftw
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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