careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
