I think I won the penis lottery.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
