Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
