i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize