I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
