We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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