Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
