I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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