Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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