I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
