I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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