just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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