Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
