Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
