I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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