She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
