Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
