You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
