@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
