someone threw a dead crab at me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
