Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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