u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
