she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
