My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I heard we made out
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize
