do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
