you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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