i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
