It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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