I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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