i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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