its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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