Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize