all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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