its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
