worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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