so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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