ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
