guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
