the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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